1. |
Bitter
03:33
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Oh the kid is drowning
in work that he didn’t choose to do
And he knows he should be saving
something but he can’t remember what, or who
And he can’t fix this with bourbon
Can’t sterilize his freedom
He wanna lay down forever
If you believe what you read online
you’re gonna die bitter
Oh the priest is frowning
at his notes, he knows these words won’t explain
There is no east, there’s no west
There’s just a sun, it holds us all in place
His prayers aren’t being answered
In fact, there’s been no word from God for centuries
But there’s no such thing as forever
If you believe what you read online
you’re gonna die bitter
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2. |
Siblings
02:40
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You don’t have to earn the right to cry
Misery’s no competition you could ever win but still you try
Anything is overwhelming when everyone expects you to be fine
I understand the way you spend your time
And we both take to drinking when the world is closing in on every side
It’s cheaper than a therapist, don’t keep you in the house like getting high
Day that I turned 29
You were wearing all of grandma’s jewelry
I was wearing tread off all my tires
Wondering “why am I alive?”
I’ve loved you long as you have been alive
I’ve carried you too young to walk
I’ve carried you too drunk to talk
We’ve danced and fought and told the truth and lied
You thought me better than I was and sometimes I pretended you were right
Day that I turned 35
You sign a different name on all your papers
I still send you every song I write
Wondering “how are we alive”?
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3. |
Bored to Death
03:10
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More afraid of dying than I am of living alone
but not much, not much
Think it’s more exciting to fly than stay home
but not much, not much
I’m looking for joy, but I get distracted
I plan on truth but can’t help acting
Every night when I lay down I plan on sleep
Instead I think of every wrong I’ve done
and every offense I’ve ever caused to anyone
I cry for the sun on days when it rains
but when it comes I look for shade
If this wedding’s dry it’ll be one to forget
I’m here for you, but I’m bored to death
I’m looking for joy, but I get distracted
I plan on truth but can’t help acting
Every night when I lay down I plan on sleep
Instead I think of every wrong I’ve done
and every offense I’ve ever caused to anyone
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4. |
Honey
02:48
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I called whenever I wanted
But you thought of me more than I thought of you
Just never knew that I was being selfish
You though my days were precious, didn’t know that yours were few
We’d tell the same couple stories
from when I was younger, and I guess you were too
About how you spoiled me with dried fruit and TV
and how I’d trade my folks in for you
My decorator, terrorized waiters, an orchestrator of good mischief
A casual icon, a fine-tuned Nikon, could hope to be half as tough
Placed a sign in your kitchen that read “Queen”
and always burned the toast
And although you claimed to like it so,
I understood you to say “I am different than most”
By turns crass and urbane
Designer clothes but you still played the spoons
Every room like an exhibit with nothing off limits
except the hidden booze
My decorator, terrorized waiters, an orchestrator of good mischief
A casual icon, a fine-tuned Nikon, could hope to be half as tough
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5. |
Sewing the Same Seam
03:52
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Remember you told me that everything was gonna be alright?
Well we all get things wrong sometimes
I’m sewing the same seam on the same flannel
Hope I don’t outlive my favorite animals, including you
And if I do, I’ll be strung out in my room where I can tell the truth
In 30 years, when we notice that ocean is just a highway for a ship
In 30 years, everything I write with hope, oh it will or won’t exist
December no one was with me,
each moment like the middle of the night
Wondering, but never knowing why
I’m doing the same things I swore I’d quit
Hope I don’t outlive every relationship
But if that proves too hard to do, hope my last is you
For 30 years, I spent all my time searching for something I’d already found
For 30 years, I’ve been staring at my feet hoping they might leave the ground
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6. |
New Fallen Snow
03:37
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All my tracks are covered by new fallen snow
there’s no trace of where I have been
I have turned my back on the snow and the cold
And I won’t be back again my friend, no I never shall return here again
I have trapped and trampled all over this ground
Dug gold from your mountains cut tall trees down
I burned a million miles on that asphalt dream
Heard the hum of the wheels, heard that freight train whistle scream
Now the sky has turned grey like the strands of my hair,
my eyes grown pale and dim
Raise your glasses high with a prayer on your lips
And I won’t be back again my friend, no I never shall return here again
Take the saddle off my pony, take the bridle from my mare
Turn her loose way out in green pastures where the grass grows tall and fair
Where the grass grows tall and fair
All my tracks are covered by new fallen snow
there’s no trace of where I have been
I have turned my back on the snow and the cold
And I won’t be back again, no I never shall return here again
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7. |
Heirlooms
04:01
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I’ve got this temper
It was my grandfather’s, then my father’s, now it’s mine
And it sits ‘tween the joy and the silence
This little spark of violence caused a century of crying
And it’s easier to blame everyone who gave me my name
than admit I could change if I wanted
We all learn from our kin how to love and how to sin
and become the same men we once run from
There’s remorse, there’s restraint
Never the ‘twain shall meet
My world is filled with the former
I’m no reformer, I just play on repeat
And it’s easier to blame everyone who gave me my name
than admit I could change if I wanted
We all learn from our kin how to love and how to sin
and become the same men we once run from
Lord I can’t have a child, I thought about it awhile
I’m keeping my heirlooms
Last thing the world needs, is another like me,
just playing by house rules
And it’s easier to blame everyone who gave me my name
than admit I could change if I wanted
We all learn from our kin how to love and how to sin
and become the same men we once run from
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8. |
Nepotism
03:06
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When I have nothing to do I get depressed,
I have too much to do I’m anxious
But sitting still is all I’ve done where I’m certain that the outcome
will get worse the longer I try, the more I try
Can’t keep aging without taking something
to help me keep my figure, to help me go to sleep,
to wake me up in the morning, calm me down after noon,
make me smile in the evening and remember to repeat and repeat
Not growing wiser I’m growing impatient
Pass on the right and I still get brain freeze
I’ll admit it’s my birthday if you promise not to sing
You know I didn’t do a thing to earn these years,
was my parents that put me here
It’s getting harder to choose a pair of shoes,
don’t want to bend to tie the laces
Pick up a book and put it down, I consider going to town
But I expect I know the crowd at the usual places, it’s all the same
Not feeling carefree, I’m feeling careless
Don’t fold my shirts and I can’t find my keys
I’ll admit it’s my birthday if you promise not to sing
You know I didn’t do a thing to earn these years,
was my parents that put me here,
was my parents that put me here
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9. |
After Last Call
03:35
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I’m looking for mercy in a pint glass
I’ve been asking the mirror for change
I’m thinking that you might like to go
And I’m wondering who might ever stay
It’s the same old worry, it’s the same mistake
After last call I need another
And think every mended heart deserves a break
Got nothing left to say tonight
I used every word that makes us fight
Now I can’t go home, I’m too afraid to phone
You’re better off alone, but I’m worse off alone
I’m praying to no God I can think of
I been wandering a street I can’t name
I’m smiling at strangers in the darkness
and I’m hoping they don’t see my shame
Where I learned I can’t explain
I don’t get my way I just complain
Wish you didn’t know or I’d find control
But what we hide time always shows
So it’s the same old worry, it’s the same mistake
After last call I need another
And think every mended heart deserves a break
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10. |
As One Does
02:59
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There’s nothing left you must be right
I’m always turning off the lights
We can’t talk if I can’t see
How much longer could you know me
until the time is passing slowly?
Until you realize I won’t capture
half the things I’m chasing after?
Don’t’ you fixate on disaster like I do?
It’s easy enough to spend your life
reading of ways to keep from dying
Changing habits that you love
Still there’s nothing you can think of
that'll change the final outcome
We just hope when we get home
and we don’t want to be alone
we won’t have to use our phones
Like most do
I am nothing, I am everything
Get the idea that I’m still sad when I am laughing
Wrote my name beneath some words then I crossed it out
Can’t admit the things I think are really what I thought
Grow apart from the ideas that made me comfortable
Understand life is linear and we’re all fallible
Start to thinking there’s nothing deep inside
The way I am is all there is unless I dream at night
Should spend less time upright
I hope I do
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11. |
Nothing
03:13
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Oh my head sure feels heavy but I don’t know why that’s so
‘Cause I never picked it up and I am always letting go
I am always letting go
I forgot to call you back, my everlasting shame
I was focused on myself so I rarely spoke your name
I too rarely spoke your name
Now the whole world’s made of nothing
‘Cause there’s nothing I can say, nothing I can do,
nothing I believe, and nothing left for you
I can’t ask another question
about who you are and where you’re from
Did you forget to mention something grand that you had done?
Can’t we pour another one?
Oh mother, I know you’re crying, sister’s crying too
Father’s holding back, ‘cause that’s what fathers do
And me I’m coming soon
Mine was the last voice you heard, and I hope you understood
when I said “thank you, I’ll miss you, it’s alright, we’ll be good,
I know you did all that you could”
And then the whole world turned to nothing
‘Cause there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do,
nothing I believed and nothing left for you
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12. |
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There’s a picture on the wall, from some day I can’t recall
I can’t remember why I even put it up at all
If every day I’m someone else, I haven’t noticed it myself
Haven’t changed, at least as far as I can tell
And I wonder who I was, wonder who I will become
And I wonder who I was, wonder who I will become
We all live, like we’re infinite
And I guess, in some ways, that’s correct
‘Cause in several hundred years, when we’re not here,
all our molecules are gonna be reused
And I wonder what I was, wonder what I will become
And I wonder what I was, wonder what I will become
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Josh Fortenbery Juneau, Alaska
Self-absorbed but rarely self-serious songwriter based in Juneau, Alaska. Sings sad songs but smiles a lot and usually means
it. Likes: dogs, blood harmonies, happy hour. Dislikes: earnestness, gore, the internet.
Josh’s debut album, No Such Thing as Forever, is a neurotic reflection on isolation, misinformation, family, and death. An existential crisis set to music.
... more
Josh Fortenbery recommends:
Sisters of White Chapel
by Annie Bartholomew
Annie Bartholomew's Sisters of White Chapel tells the incredible stories of the women of the Klondike gold rush and was one of Folk Alley's top 20 albums of 2023.
go to albumIf you like Josh Fortenbery, you may also like:
Daddy's Country Gold
by Melissa Carper
supported by 11 fans who also own “No Such Thing as Forever”
I have a TBI, so memory is a big theme of my life. And recently entered recovery, and clear so bring on more memories (like the wonderful show at the Blue Door). My dad was a steeler, starting with Rogers Twins when he was 14. Sneaked him in the back door of a Texas dance hall-he also played with Merl Lindsay before Western Swing slowly began to disappear. http://genejones.bizland.com/
go to album
Bet On Love
by Pharis & Jason Romero
supported by 11 fans who also own “No Such Thing as Forever”
Beautiful folk music from Canada... glad you were picked by others as a top Juno performer.
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Dear Dead Days
by Kassi Valazza
supported by 9 fans who also own “No Such Thing as Forever”
Some of the most creative songwriting I've heard in a long time. It doesn't get any better than this. An artist to watch! Love it.
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Dakota Blue Moon
by Jackson Harden
Gorgeous acoustic Americana from North Carolina, stripped-back and sublime.
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Breathtakingly beautiful Americana bolstered by an assured sense of melody and razor-sharp lyrics.
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